保守❤️和💰

有种深深的不安感无时无刻,无孔不入的浸在身体的每个细胞里

是因为有欠款,虽不多,但足以让人心神不灵-衰也

圣经上说,你的财宝在哪里,你的❤️就在哪里-是也

所以要保守你的心胜过保守一切,所以我先保守我的财宝

而是不想麻烦。

Listen

They were dancing with rain.

今天 真正认识了一位同性恋的朋友,故事里,电视里的角色突然出现在面前,是那么真实;当她那么坦然的跟我讲的时候,是的,我惊讶了,可得装出很淡定的样子,其实,看她的长相和打扮是一定不会往那方面想的。突然间我不太能体会她心里真正的感受。只能想到那种感情就像女人对男人或者男人对女人的爱慕一样,只是她爱慕的对象是同性。可是为什么呢?

我不知道答案,我想她也不知道,她自己也觉得非常之痛苦,想与主同在;甚至觉得为什么煤气中毒的时候,神没有带走她;我想在她身上,有神特殊的使命赋予给她,需要她完成。不过,真心祝福她,希望她可以爱上男人;男人是那么特殊有魅力(在我眼里)。

小小的愧疚,为自己的嫉妒心理感到惭愧,噢不!是羞愧!在我等她的时候,碰到了另一个新朋友(因为我刚认识他1个星期). 见到他之前,我只是瞬间有个念头在脑海中显现了一下,就是他会不会也来教会了;没过多久;在电梯里果然见到他跟其他人出来;他蛮有漫游的走过来,我叫他的名字,他笑了,说你记住了,嗯我回答。他说了我的名字,是我说;然后我说你怎么来我们教会, 他回答说因为今天是约书亚团契的最后一次,他想来参加,所以就来了,平时的话他是去国际教会,这样才能听懂内容,我补了句说他的中文可以明白的;然后他边走边说你一会也去吗?我说我在等一个我的朋友,他走了。 我那卑微的念头就冒出来了:等会如果她和他有机会认识了,他们会不会就一见钟情了呢?!因为我还没见过她,不知道她的长相或其他如何,就知道她善谈善于表达且留学英文不错,其他一概不知。可是没想到是guy! 神啊,我的心思意念啊,是何等的不光明呢!这些都是我的想象!其实什么也没有发生!我想这是嫉妒!是的,嫉妒!或者是在乎!可是那跟我有半毛钱关系吗? 我们彼此就有过一次联系而已,后来碰面都没有特意打招呼,我没有看他,他也没有看我,没有瞳孔放大之类的。不过我更有信心,更不怀疑的祷告上帝已经为我预备那上好的他,就是那个样子的,爱主的弟兄,高高的,瘦瘦的,干干净净的他;所以我只是等待,真的就只是等待!

我也跟神祷告,如果是那位他,就需要对方主动一些,比如开始的时候一定要对方表明,或者行动上主动的;圣经说只有毫不怀疑的祷告和相信,且看神的大为和成就! 感恩神这么爱我,接纳我,按我的本想。

下午陪她去修完手机,感觉肚子隐隐的疼,跟拉肚子的疼不太一样,回来一砍,遭了。感觉特困,躺在我最爱的沙发上,一会就着了,一觉醒来5点半了。好满足的人生。

重看了《朱诺》,哭了,想恋爱,想爱他,想他爱我,想结婚,想生子,想当妈妈。像她爸爸说的那样,The best you can do is find a person loves you exactly you are ,good mood bad mood, pretty handsome ugly, whatever….that is kind person worth you.

June 22, 2014

imageI saw the girl was reading at the halfway up the hill

she was happy too i thought and also she has hope

i can feel many types of happiness

Reading is, listening is, watching is…

picture took at Li jiang

July of 2013

Seriously, I would like to pay more attention on myself recently! (Be honesty, have to do that). Otherwise, I might pay more attention on others. 

Recently, I also think about marriage. Should i have to get married with a guy? My mom said yes absolutely! There was a old sentence could express  boys and girls status: boys would have be loved by a women, then he will become calm and peaceful, his heart have belongs! Girls would have a dependence on a boy. That her heart will become calm and peaceful! 
Alright, I absolutely believe this!

A Boy and a girl are become a family. Then they have a love of home! Both of them will become stronger than before, their heart would have a home! They also would share their spirit to each other! How a pretty thing on earth! 

When I feel calm I can write and record some thoughts! Then I feel better than I just thought without did not do anything. 

I am a strange girl as I always thought

Seriously, I would like to pay more attention on myself recently! (Be honesty, have to do that). Otherwise, I might pay more attention on others.

Recently, I also think about marriage. Should i have to get married with a guy? My mom said yes absolutely! There was a old sentence could express boys and girls status: boys would have be loved by a women, then he will become calm and peaceful, his heart have belongs! Girls would have a dependence on a boy. That her heart will become calm and peaceful!
Alright, I absolutely believe this!

A Boy and a girl are become a family. Then they have a love of home! Both of them will become stronger than before, their heart would have a home! They also would share their spirit to each other! How a pretty thing on earth!

When I feel calm I can write and record some thoughts! Then I feel better than I just thought without did not do anything.

I am a strange girl as I always thought